I’m Not Territorial or Anything.

January 10, 2013 · 34 comments

You guys asked, so I’m telling you.

I was tempted to not touch this season of the Bachelor. You guys know all about my Sean thoughts and feelings.


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The second Sean waltzed into frame on The Bachelorette, I had a pretty immediate reaction.

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“THAT GUY. He’s my favorite.”

“…No, not for Emily. For me.”

So, when he was announced as the next Bachelor and I hadn’t gotten a phone call from ABC producers telling me Sean had personally requested I be the first out of the limo so he can just propose then and there, I was a little distraught.

Obviously, not distraught enough to boycott this season.

I will tell you, however, I’m feeling a little territorial. I was extra judgey with all the girls who walked out of that limo. Almost all of them seemed pretty crazytown to me.

You know, more crazy than “normal” Bachelor contestant crazy. I was all over the place with my “But why THAT girl and not me? Why not me?” (That’s a Dane Cook reference for all you silly Sallies who don’t know.)

Anyway, I need to get over myself and attempt to watch this show objectively. I’m a lucky girl in a great place right now, and I can be happy for Sean as I watch him find his happiness.

Those girls just need to stop touching him.

KIDDING. Sorta.

I’m going note-style on this again. These were a few of my thoughts upon watching Sean’s first episode as The Bachelor:

1. Did ABC just coordinate Arie, the man dating Courtney Robertson, coming back and advise Sean pre-Bachelorhood? YIKES.

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Remembering how much she frustrated me actually cues my gag reflex.

I was yelling at the screen. Yelling.

“WHAT? SEAN. YOU’RE PERFECT. DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS.”

And as far as that kiss advice went? C’mon. As far as I could see, Sean was doing just. fine.

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Look at him. The man does not need advice. And definitely not from Arie. The awkward hand doesn’t even matter.

(I joke around a lot over here, and I obviously like the way Sean looks because, well, I have eyeballs, but I genuinely love the fact that, as far as The Bachelor goes, Sean is a class act and seemingly a great guy. That needed to be noted somewhere.)

2. Could these girls be more awkward and shrieky?

3. Wedding gown. WEDDING gown? God, Sean appreciates a sense of humor. This is good, but for me, the girl was a little too hammerfied much to deserve a rose.

4. Homegirl who tripped while trying to do gymnastics totally should have gotten up, wiped her hands on her dress, laughed, and said, “See? I’ve already fallen for you.” Play it off, woman!

5. Based on clues from upcoming episodes, Tierra is totally about to be the new Courtney.

When she showed Sean her tacky open heart tattoo, I was a little worried he peaced out to grab a sharpie and fill it in right then and there. I was relieved it was just a rose, although I’d be lying if I said I kinda judged him for his first impression taste. And can I add how hilarious it was when a girl told Tierra she was gorgeous and all, but her rose was not actually the first impression rose? Oh no, she di’int.

I did like Sean’s “I’m-gonna-give-you-a-rose-now-so-I-don’t-have-to-keep-track-of-a-bajillion-names-come-rose-ceremony-time” play. Smartypants. Big smartypants.

6. I did really like Kacie B. in Ben’s season, but… holy moly, did I feel territorial when she stepped out of that limo. I find myself always annoyed when girls who have already had a shot of the show come back, and this was no exception. Outta here, Kacie B. You wanted Ben. You don’t get Sean. I like you and all, but this time, you and your baton need to stay home.

7. Stoppppp tanninggggggg!

8.
You go, girl. 

Everyone knows I can’t utter a single negative word about you, Katie Kat. You’re adorable. But let me guess, the producers suggested the barefoot play, yes? Everyone’s going nuts over it.

9. Ashley H’s dress. Whaaat are you doing?

I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but then I saw her fashion choice on her little school-portrait-esque token Bachelor shot:

 

Yipes. Sorry Ashley/AshLee/Ashleigh #17, I’m judging your fashion choices.

10. My official favorite is Lesley from D.C., but I don’t think I see her going far.

As far as I’m concerned, jury’s still out as to who Sean ends up with. Obviously, I’m not a spoiler-reader.

Hit me with your notes. I want to hear your thoughts on this crazy crew.

 

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