The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All Conclusions

Sorry for the lack of Bachelor posting last week. I had too many feelings and just needed to regroup.

viaYou may be saying, “Why, Lyss? We thought you wanted Emily to be an idiot and let Sean go. ‘Off the hook and plopped back into the dating pool,’ right?”

And you’re right. I’m a little bit selfish. But I then realized it meant I no longer had an excuse to splash the likes of Sean all over this blog.

via
viaSorry. Just getting them all in while I still can.

How about we all petition for Sean to be the next Bachelor? You’d just have to excuse me while I dedicated all my time to making the best Bachelor video application ABC has ever seen. I’d pop out of the limo and Sean would be all…

viaAnd, you know, I’d do my foxy strut up to the ol’ mansion.

That costume would actually be superb. Maybe I should just wear the loofah costume. A different color loofah for each date. The Bachelor would be so enchanted.

via(Thank God for all these sweet gifs, right? It’s like they tell the story for me.)

And then he’d be all “You’re selective, I’m selective… let’s do this thing.”

viaCan’t say I didn’t warn you all. I’ll hit you with some wedding invites eventually.

Aaaand just like that, I’ve gone off an a serious tangent. On to my conclusions from The Men Tell All episode, which I’m sure mirror basically everyone else’s thoughts.

1. Big bro five for Emily for putting Kalon in his place… again. What’s with the guys of this season? They all just think they are the greatest thing to walk to planet.
2. Speaking of those kinda guys, holy moses, can Ryan grow a beard. Unfortunately for him, it makes him no less of a douchebag.
3. I’ve got some stiff competition. The word “Sean” seems to elicit lots and lots of screamy girls.
4. Still Team Jef.

viaJef with one F may not have been my pick, but I’ve been swayed. They’re just so goshdarn cute together. When I picture cupid, I now kinda picture Jef with little wings and a bow and arrow. His little bare-butt baby heart deserves loves and happiness.
5. Stop teasing us, Chris Harrison. We all see you trying to convince us Emily quits it all next week. I’m not falling for your trickery.

And just like that, it’s finale week.

viaOh, Sean. I’ll miss you, too. It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.

Tagged as: the bachelorette notes, the men tell all the bachelorette