IT’S THE FINAL FOUR, Y’ALL.
Aside from it being the wrong season for basketball, if you know me at all, you know I’m obviously talking Bachelorette.
And for all the people questioning me about last week’s episode, yes, I am still reeling from Sean’s performance in the Highland games. Or was that two weeks ago? See how I’ve lost all my senses?
Right you are.
I got out of rehearsal a little after 11 p.m. last night, ran home, made dinner, and settled in to watch the Bachelorette with bated breath. Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I was well aware of the “Sean lives at home” rumors floating around. And yeah, I was already making excuses for him. There was no way my guy still lived with his parents. He’s not that guy.
‘Cause I just know these things. I could feel it. Don’t try and tell me Sean’s not the greatest thing to grace the Bachelorette since Kirk in Ali’s season. Don’t even try.
When Emily headed to Chris’ house first, I was kinda glad. Get him outta the way; we all know he’s leaving this week, anyway. I felt like he had that one lucky move at the last rose ceremony but was still doomed to fail. Like when you’re losing miserably in Words with Friends and have one last triple word score including a “J” before you get your but whooped on the next move. That was Chris. And man, did he not lose gracefully. Really? Now that you watched the episode back, are you proud of the way you handled that one, big guy?
In his defense, I felt pretty bad for him when his dad told him Emily said she was falling in love with him. I may have been multitasking while watching (as per usual), but I’m preeettty sure Emily never said those words. What gives, pops? Don’t feed into the ticking time bomb that is Chris. He scares me when he’s mad. Incredible Hulk style. “CLEAR THE ROSE GARDEN, Chris is MAaaaAAaaAAaD!”
The next point I’m going to make actually was made by my mama dearest first. Arie and Emily are very cute together, but the race car driver thing is still kinda strange. She says she “gets” the life of a driver and likes the independence she gets while he’s on the road, but isn’t that life pretty different when you have a child? The independent life she had with her late fiancé on the road had to be different than the life she’d have now with at least one child at home. But, again, I have yet to pop out little boppers of my own, so what do I know? And Arie’s family didn’t thrill me. I didn’t hate ’em, but I didn’t love when they decided to speak whatever language they were speaking (yup, too lazy to look it up) and completely leave Emily to cross her eyes and blow raspberries by herself in the corner.
And fine. I admit it, I was wrong about Jef with one F. He’s so goshdarn adorable with Emily, and I think I’ve converted to Team Jef for Emily. His outrageously Mormon family seemed to really fit Emily well, his date with her (as well as last week’s date) was perfect for them, and I got teary-eyed when he read her that note. I wasn’t quite buying what Jef was selling in the beginning of this showdown, but I think he and Emily’s personalities suit each other pretty perfectly.
You do that, Jef with one F. Go on witcho’ bad self.
When Jef’s brother told him he felt like he has never seen Jef “want those things before” in regards to being a father, it got me thinking. I know it’s possible to never realize you want something before meeting someone you feel you may want to spend the rest of your life with. When you fall in love with someone, things that are important to them can become important to you. When that person you love comes as a package deal with an aspect of life that could completely turn yours upside-down, sometimes, you’re willing to switch gears and align yourselves to their life. Those things that they hold valuable can very easily become something you want, too. I feel ya on this one, Jef. I’ll give you a passionate bro-five for that one.
And if that didn’t make any sense, I’ll just assume Jef and I have our own little language on that one. He’d get it. Right, Jef with one F?
Aaaand then there was my homeboy, Sean. I’m tellin’ ya, he gets better every week. I loved getting to see his sistah-sistah up there on T.V., I adore his niece’s little cottage (WHAT THE WHAT? Where was that on my fifth birthday, Mom and Dad?), and I was preeetty sure he was playing a joke on Emily right when he said the words “I still live here.” You’ve gotta be more convincing, Sean. The cookie crumbles beside the milk were too much. I did like the naming-the-stuffed-animals touch, though. That was a nice addition.
And after he played that joke, I decided he’s even more perfect for me than I thought. Sealed with the awesome running-after-the-car-to-grab-one-more-kiss. I will selfishly admit I’m hoping he’s going home next week so I can claim him. Hear that, Sean? Texas called. It said I haven’t been to visit in a while and I’m overdue.