One would think training for a marathon would make you look like this:
Okay, Kara, you’ve one-upped me again.
False. If you want to be cute, don’t train for a marathon. Just take my word for it.
You gain wait. You’re hungry all the time, and you’re stressing about fueling your body so you can run 26.2 miles without stopping (or passing out).
You think about food constantly. All the time. You dream about it. You talk about it. All. The. Time.
I mean, when you’re running 20 miles at one time, you automatically get to eat french fries with no guilt. It’s simple logic. Right? Right?!
And as a result, you’re gonna gain weight, and you’re gonna feel constantly bloated from all the fluids you’re forcing yourself to hydrate with.
Everywhere you go, there will be stretching involved.
Even on escalators. Like Buddy the Elf (see photo #2 above).
And even in the middle of the dance floor at the bar. I’ve already taught you what to do when people ask what you’re doing.
All your money is going to go towards new running shoes (I just ordered my third pair to add into the rotation), energy gels, sports massages, ice packs, and fuel belts. Just don’t expect any fluff in your bank account while training for a marathon.
And speaking of gu, you’ll be quickly accustomed to ripping open a packet of the stuff right when your watch beeps at mile 7, taking it down, and shoving it back into your fuel belt. Liquid calories are all the rage, haven’t you heard?
I was always a bigger fan of the Gu brand gels, but since you’re supposed to use the same type of gel in training as you will for the race, Clif gel is our new jam. Clif will be distributed during the Marine Corps marathon. Anastasia and I bought two boxes of Vanilla and Citrus to split.
Applying deodorant to your legs, under your sports bra, and anywhere fabric rubs becomes completely normal. I won’t provide a visual of such things. Just trust me on this one; it’s very necessary.
And you don’t want to know what happens to your toenails. Trust me on this one. Just have lots of dark nail polish handy, and do most of your training during Ugg boot season.
The icing of your legs becomes an activity you plan your day around.
Off days become your day of physical and mental freedom.