The Scar is So Worth It. [GUEST ILLUSTRATIONS]

August 4, 2011 · 29 comments

The following story is a completely true tale of my childhood. And because I adore Lindsay and her blog, Happy or Hungry, I asked her to illustrate it for me. Enjoy. She’s awesome.

On to the story.

I’ve had a scar on my forehead since I was three. It doesn’t bother me, cause the story of how I got it is just too entertaining to not recount every time someone asks about it.
I’m like a lanky blonde Harry Potter.
I’ll set the scene. I was three years old. My parents were in Atlantic City doing the things you do in Atlantic City, and my sister, Amy, who was fifteen at the time, was “babysitting” me (this was the kind of babysitting when she’s not old enough to have me overnight alone, so we had an older lady neighbor babysitting, too).

 

Amy always was the best sister ever. She let me eat brownie batter out of the bowl and talk on the phone with her boyfriend. So. Exhilarating. I was punchy and w-i-r-e-d.

 

Somehow, in the middle of my hyperactive shenanigans, my face made contact with the corner of the piano bench.

 

Doof.

 

I ended up on the floor, and my sister hung up the phone and came running over to me. Since she figured I bumped my head, she picked me up and held me, patting my back.

Then Amy felt a nice warm stream go down her back.

 

What up, three year old with a bleeding head?

 

At this point, I’m bleeding from the noggin, my eyes are rolled in the back of my head, and I’m not responding. Amy panicked and dialed 911 and called my aunt and uncle to come over ASAP.

 

As my aunt and uncle arrived, I was evidently delirious. I was carried to the ambulance in my driveway and promised McDonalds if I was a good girl.

 

That’s a 10-4, Aunt Linnie. I’ll do whatever you want for the promise of late-night Mickey D’s.

 

[That same bribery works on me to this day, by the way. I like medium fries and sweet and sour sauce.]

 

So now, Amy’s in the back of the ambulance with me while my aunt rides in the front seat. Amy’s sobbing as the attendant attempts to check my vitals and make conversation with the bloody three year old.

 

“How old are you?”

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“…”

 

I’m told I owned a stuffed bear I had named Humphrey. I’m still not sure why I chose to assumed his identity that night.

 

Once we got to the hospital, the doctor jovially told me he needed to stitch me up. He told me it would be really fun if I sang my favorite song. There’s no doubt he was expecting a nice rendition of “Small World” or “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”

 

What came out of my mouth?

 

“… and ruined your black tie affair….”

 

It’s true. The first song I ever learned. By homeboy Garth Brooks. This isn’t normal for growing up in the South Jersey suburbs.

 

The entire hospital wing was alight with the sound of my voice (a slight resemblance to the mixture between Fergie and Jesus).

 

 

Cause it’s normal for a three year old to be singing about whiskey drowning her blues away.

It’s shocking my stitches look as good as they do with what that poor doctor had to endure.
But the whole night was worth it. Ya know why?

 

Our local McDonald’s was graced with the presence of a bloodied-shirt fifteen year old, two perplexed adults, and a hyper, stitched-up three year old.

 

I told you the scar was worth it.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sarah OUaL August 4, 2011 at 5:41 am

YEAHHHH I was the last one you thought you’d see there. Love it Harry Potter
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2 Colleen @ The Lunchbox Diaries August 4, 2011 at 11:01 am

HAHAHAHHA!!I love Lindsey! This literally made me laugh out loud 🙂
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3 Sam August 4, 2011 at 11:35 am

LMAO this was so funny!! Love the animations and the story.
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4 Liz @ Something To Chew On August 4, 2011 at 11:43 am

Loved this!! You made me giggle 🙂 and whoa very cute illustrations!!
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5 gwen August 4, 2011 at 12:17 pm

wowwww favorite post ever…also Lindsay needs to be doing illustrations for childrens books!
too bad they didn’t get this on video!!
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6 Faith @ For the Health of It August 4, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Bahahha I almost died laughing! What a great story behind the scar – mine are all boring, and most of them have either come from my dog or burning myself taking baked goods out of the oven!
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7 Nikki August 4, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Hahahah! Nearly just laughed out loud at work. Oops!
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8 Lauren August 4, 2011 at 1:47 pm

This.is.hilarious!!! I was dying! Fergie and Jesus…LOL!!

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9 My Blonde Moments August 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Oh my gosh…this is freakin’ hilarious!!!! Mostly because I can relate to belting out totally inappropriate songs as a child. For whatever reason, my personal fav when I was about 3-4 years old was Gloria Estefan’s, Bad Boy. The one lyric I knew from the song and would sing over and over and over again was “bad bad bad bad boys…you make me feel so goooood!”. There are numerous home videos of me singing this song. My parents must have been so proud (or mortified)!

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10 Kristen @ notsodomesticated August 4, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I. love. it. I mostly love it b/c it’s totally something that would have happened to me. I have a scar above my lip from walking into a metal stand at the mall when I was about 5 or so … I was so busy talking, that I wasn’t watching where I was walking. Ahh .. memories. 😉

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11 Kace August 4, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Ha this is so cute. Loved it.
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12 cait August 4, 2011 at 8:02 pm

this is adorable – i seriously laughed so hard. such a great post 🙂 i also love g.brooks! ox
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13 alyssa - fashion fitness foodie August 4, 2011 at 10:07 pm

haha WOW, did your parents want to kill amy when they got home?? i like sweet and sour sauce with my fries too for the record!
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14 Lindsay@ In Sweetness and In Health August 5, 2011 at 12:05 am

Bahahaha..love the story! And the illustrated pics are freaking awesome 🙂
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15 Sarah S. August 5, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Oh wow, this is the first time I’ve read your blog, but this is hilarious! It made my day!
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16 Devon August 6, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Ha! This was hilarious & I loved the Step Brothers reference.
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17 Allison @ Happy Tales August 11, 2011 at 5:07 am

OMGGGGGG. you are one of a kind. i want my future child to be JUST like you!! seriously, this story made my night!!!!
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18 Amber August 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm

this. just. MADE MY DAY.

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19 Alex @ fightcancerwithfood November 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Ahhahaha, I just found your blog via your guest post on PBF. I probably will never run a marathon (although I’m not ruling it out), but this is totally why you’re going in my reader.

That sounds creepier than it actually is.

Hiya!
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20 Haley @Cupcakes and Sunshine June 11, 2014 at 3:17 pm

This is so, so great. I love it. And the illustrations are just fabulous as well! Too, too funny!!
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