This week, as I turn on the T.V. to start the best part of Monday, I’m suddenly reminded of what I have to look forward to. TWO nights of…

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Buckle up, y’all.

Sidenote: I swear I read something a past contestant posted that the girls aren’t allowed to bring weights, leave the property to run, etc. Why are these dudes allowed giant 50 pound dumbbells?

Chase gets the first one-on-one date. And I realize that I like JoJo and Chase. Not like the way I like cookie cake, but more the way I like apples. They’re good, and they pair well with turkey and cheese.

But the joke’s on you, Chase. You’re not just taking a hot yoga class. You’re taking a gyrate-and-yell hot yoga class. I’m fairly certain this is not real.

And here, I’ve always found it a little awkward to teach new barre clients to tuck.


This is next. level.

They jib jabbed or yib yabbed. I thought that was an app people used to put their faces into little singing, dancing elves.

(Actually, Google tells me its yab yum, and it’s a real thing.)

At yab yum, all was romantic and sexy and JoJo and Chase made out while she straddled him.


I full out Target Lady-ed the whole time.

Ali comes in with the date card, and I’m just annoyed because his presence (and interesting fashion choice) is really screwing up my bracket.

Chad proves once again that he has obviously seen Ben’s season. He pulls a complete Jubilee and says he doesn’t want to go on this group date with 12 other guys.

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Jordan, Tiny Alex, and the rest of the boyband go completely whiny pants and Chad does his best Mufasa impression.

Group date commences, and they’re learning they’re at a sex talk show, and the guys will each tell their own sexual tale.

FFFFantastic. Can’t wait to see what erectile dysfunction guy has on deck for this one. And I silently bet $1 million that Chad takes this perfect opportunity to bow out and and be too cool for the challenge again. Again.


They’re all fine, but firefighter Grant’s pants though.

pants bachelorette

I also think we all just learned that Wells farted during a threesome.


As the guys are prepping backstage, Evan the weenie doctor tells Tiny Alex that he is going to put Chad on blast. He has some serious things planned.

And Evan gets up on stage and takes the opportunity to imply that Chad’s got some side effects from ‘roid rage.

And then he got to witness the effects of said true roid rage.

Honestly, at this point, I’m even less enthused by Evan. This poke wasn’t even funny, and he was asking for the repercussion. I don’t feel bad for him when Chad grabs Evan’s shirt “AND RIPS IT!”

Not that I’m defending Chad. I just think Evan sunk down to his level, and I’m really not impressed by the fact that he can’t even own it afterward.

Chad tries to recover by getting on stage and attempting to full Disney Prince JoJo. He completely crashes and burns, and JoJo denies him of an onstage makeup.

Let me also take this opportunity to say that I’d be swooning over Jordan if it weren’t for his being an apparent big fat cheater. His Jimmy Neutron T-Bird swagger works. I’m not going to be shocked if he’s the one JoJo chooses in the end.

Thank God his ex took to instagram to warn us to not fall too far in love:

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(in case anyone hasn’t already seen that yet).

When questioned, Chad claims he’s a real nice guy. And that he doesn’t have problems with anybody. Ever. In life.

As I’m writing this, I’m curious as to what his Instagram looks like. I have a strong feeling it’s filled with shirtless photos of himself. Maybe with some baby oil, maybe without. Probably showing off expensive clothing since he is a “luxury real estate agent.” Definitely showing the veins, because that’s who he is.

When I investigate, I realize I’m right on the money.

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I should have a career in profiling Instagrams.

So as we move through the group date, Evan gives JoJo an ultimatum. If she doesn’t send Chad home, he’s leaving.

Let’s put JoJo giving Evan a rose and making out with him at the very top of the list of this I never would have expected. I’m not a fan. I went full monkey emoji and covered my eyes.

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THERE GOES MY BRACKET AGAIN. And Chad’s confidence.

When JoJo returns to the rest of the group, she’s followed by Evan strutting around and showing off his new rose like a prized show pony. We all learn Chad as zero poker face when he says what we’re all thinking, “You’re seriously vibing this dude?”

While I think you’re a douche for saying it out loud, Chad, I concur.

Back at the house later on, beady eyes tells Chad to get his act together, and I internally cheer. I’ve been wondering what beady eyes’ deal is, considering half the show, we see beady with the rest of the guys, speaking unfavorably about Chad. The other half, we see him bro-ing out with the 50 pounders. At least Chad is trying to encourage him to be a normal human.


He tells Chad to be a little less Donald Trump and a little more Mussolini. Because that’s where we are with society these days.

Next up, James T’s one-on-one. Just watching him live makes me smile. I don’t even care that (I think) JoJo isn’t into him the way she is some others. James T for Bachelor!

Pause. Can we all just agree to bring swing dancing dresses back? I’m really digging the style. I’m just going to pretend I’d fill out that dress the way JoJo does.


James T. gets a rose after telling her how low his confidence is, and after these two episodes especially, I’m assured JoJo gives out pity roses.

When Papa Chris Harrison comes in and announces there is an all-day pool party on the docket instead of a rose ceremony, Chad is annoyed all the guys want to see JoJo in a bikini. Chad says he already can tell through her dress what she looks like in a bikini. So….. alright.


I think Chad has a problem with everyone and everything. If you told Chad every day would be Christmas for the rest of time and he could eat whatever he wanted without losing muscle mass, he’d find a problem.

Evan pulls Papa Harrison aside to tell him how unsafe he feels around Chad, even with the security guards around. He tells Chris about the ripped shirt, and he reminds me of my twin nieces tattling on each other when one has done something less than awesome.

bachelorette evan whiny baby

Chad might suck, but now, so do you.

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I now have a problem with Evan. Evan actually had a pretty good reason to mess with Chad. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea, but he was given a reason to not love the guy. But, Evan can’t own the fact that he actually did intend to get a rise out of Chad, he actually did intend to embarrass him (again, valid), and to me, it looked like he actually did sorta push him while getting back to his seat in the audience. If you’re gonna do it, man up and stand by what you did. Don’t point fingers and duck your head and deny you did anything wrong. Own it. No one will even blame you.

And Evan, if your monologue was all in good fun, it would have been funny.

Dare I say, after that showdown, I felt more annoyed by Evan than I did Chad.


And just when I’m feeling all agitated, Jordan comes back to sweep me JoJo off her feet. The chemistry is THERE, and we’re all swooning.

When Chad overhears Derek answering a question JoJo asked about Chad, he later approaches Derek to give Hulk-like threats.

derek chad showdown bachelorette

And Derek’s response just skyrockets him to become of my favorite dudes in the house. I liked how level-headed and eloquent he was in dealing with Chad. No one, not even Tiny Dancer Alex, has accomplished this thus far.

Real question. Was everyone hungover as balls after taking shots during the day and having to hang out for a dressy rose ceremony? No, thank you. I would have conducted that shiz poolside in my bikini, then waved ta-ta to go crash immediately following.

But that’s just me. And one of my arch nemeses is day drinking paired with night partying.

A rose ceremony in fancy getup happens, and everyone gets a rose, even Vinny and James F (who you?). Except for Christian (C’MAAAAN! He was in my top 4!), and Saint Nick (UGH).

JoJo and I have very different taste in men. But, I like aggressive men just about as much as I like day drinking before night partying for a month straight, soooooo..

THEN, in our two night special, we are treated to a new exciting destination….



“Oh, yeah, sorry, guys. I know the other peeps got Vegas, Hawaii, Turks & Caicos…. and you got good ol’ PA.”

Not that I’m knocking it. I did grow up 30 minutes outside of Philly.

Luke’s 1 on 1 speaks about mushing, and everyone’s not that jealous.

Forgive me, but I wasn’t aware mushing (dog sledding on a go-kart?) was a thing in PA. But that’s what Luke gets for his first one-on-one. JoJo makes him chop wood so they can heat the hot tub.

The hot tub’s really, really (expletive from JoJo) hot.

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Luke doesn’t care due to the ideal hand placement opportunities this temperature presents.

As Chad would say, Luke and JoJo are really “vibin'”, and they get to dance on stage as Dan and Shay croon their drippingly romantic song of the moment. I see the passion between JoJo and Luke, so I could see Luke going really far. I don’t hate it.

And in the best moment of this entire two-night special, we find out that the 2-on-1 date will be Baby Alex and Chad. Alex is psyched, and he has no lack of confidence in his chances of staying.

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A group date commences, and it’s the traditional “we are split into teams to play a sport with famous athletes present, and the winning team gets more time with the Bachelorette.”


On the football field, shockingly enough, the team with the ex pro-football player wins. Despite a bloodied James Taylor, who played through a broken face.

Some boring TV happens with the rest of the group date, because Chad isn’t present. Robby goes full golden retriever on JoJo (so many hairy men this season), and I’m not really feeling him. But JoJo looks like she is, and I guess that’s what really matters here.

There are more cautionary tales about Chad thrown JoJo’s way.

Hey, JoJo. After living in a house with Olivia and seeing how this happens once, how do you not identify when something like “Chad” is happening?


I get it, though. You had to keep him around for good TV.

Back at the house, Chad decides to up the creepy factor and tell Jordan that after the show, he’s gonna find him. And he’s gonna beat his ass. So, that set him up well for his next date.

Finally, the moment everyone has been waiting for takes place. The 2-on-1 with Chad and Baby Alex. They go on a hike. It’s awkward.

As everyone in America predicted, when Alex gets his time, he (fairly) puts Chad on blast. He tells JoJo about his full-on Liam Neeson impression of earlier, and JoJo acts like it’s the first time she’s hearing about Chad’s aggression.

After a mini breakdown, JoJo returns to Chad and asks him if he threatened to beat someones ass. His answer? “Well, it’s not 100% false…”


Let’s say it together:

BYE CHAD bachelorette

And just like soaking wet Olivia and her cankles had to stay on the island by herself as Emily and Ben sailed away, Chad was left to walk around in the woods by himself at night while Alex and JoJo made out in a log cabin.

Bye bye, Chad. Until 2 weeks from now…



I did it. I’m back. I watched the Bachelorette, and I have time to blog about it.

How better to kick off Episode 2 of JoJo’s bachelorette season than with 1 million fire similes and metaphors?!FullSizeRender 17

By now, the dudes have already bonded (save for Chad, who sits in the corner sulking, eating, or using his suitcase filled with protein powder as a weight belt as he does pull-ups off the mansion trellis).


Can we pause for a sec and talk about JoJo’s group of guys? I will admit that many of them seem like well-intended, stand up guys, but sheesh, why did Kaitlyn get such a better looking bunch?

Forgive me. Maybe I’m just missing the eye candy of seasons past.

As you might remember, Ali Fedotowsky was my favorite Bachelorette ever. I was a big fan before she was named The Bachelorette, and I still adore her to this day. It’s a big deal to say that I anticipate JoJo joining Ali in the ranks as the coolest, most down-to-earth chick to hold this position. From what I know of JoJo, I really like, and I’m hoping she stays in good graces throughout this season. GET ‘EM, JOJO.


Anyway, on this firefighter challenge group date (which seems kind of unfair considering the actual firefighter was in attendance), Wells, the scrawny-but-cute radio DJ, can’t hack it. Dude has to get some water and lie down.

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BRAVO, Wells. How has everyone not caught on to this play yet? Everyone who has watched the show knows that whoever gets injured/sick/hurt on a group date gets to spend extra time with the Bachelor/Bachelorette. Kudos to Wells for taking advantage of his stature. YOU WIN.

A shock to no one, the real firefighter wins and carries JoJo out of a burning building. Meanwhile, I’m trying to get past JoJo repeatedly telling him he “did so good.”

Dear ABC, I will personally volunteer to work for free if you could just put me in charge of editing grammar on the show. I’ll just follow everyone around and correct them when they say “JoJo and I’s” and “you did good.”


But sorry, firefighter Grant, you “did good” and all; however, Wells was the true winner here, wooing JoJo with his mediocrity and pictures of his bloodhound named Carl.

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You’re wrong, Chad. Here, nice guys finish first.

(And for the record, I actually think Wells seems like a really cool guy.)

While this is taking place, the rest of the guys are bro-ing out so hard. We’re treated to songs around the pool (James T. at the helm with his git-tar). Except for Chad. Chad hates everyone, hates singing, and hates joy.

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Chad likes protein, meat, and steroids.


At home, the hipster (?) grabs the next date card and announces Derek is the chosen one.

This is where I pause and wonder if JoJo is taking Ali’s advice from the Premier of the show. Ali recommended that JoJo figure out her top few that she definitely likes and ignore them. She hasn’t invited Jordan, the first impression rose winner, on a one-on-one, and she seems to be doing a great job dividing her time between all the men. I don’t even remember anything about this Derek guy.

Next, we’re treated to Chad finding a friend in Beady Eyed Daniel. We watch them chill in matching tank tops that might have come from the closest Forever 21.

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I’m sorry, is that side boob?

And they talk about how nice guys are actually bad guys in disguise. Bad boys aren’t actually bad boys.



On the next group date, Chad goes on and on about how he’s not THAT into JoJo. America cheers when Chad awkwardly calls JoJo a nag and makes her inevitably hate him as much as the rest of us do.

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The outcome of this date? James Taylor the singer-songwriter gets the #1 power ranking, and I’m genuinely happy for him. I don’t even care that the wannabe country singer has been done. As, of course, has the name. I’m rooting for that guy.

And choosing to ignore Chad, who is certain everyone is doing everything wrong. bachelorette recap

I feel that JoJo’s body language makes it pretty clear that she’s not really down with what he’s throwing. And to paraphrase one of my favorite tweets of the night, “JoJo defending Chad sounds eerily similar to Trump follower reasoning.”

When she kisses him, I all but roll off the couch and dump my LaCroix out of sheer annoyance.

Right. We all need a villain, and the Bachelor/ette must first be into them before things explode in their face. We’ve been here before.

At least she gave James the rose. You go, James! You and your poetry have won me over.

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When rose ceremony times rolls around, Chad has decided that since he’s gotten a little taste of what it feels like to smooch JoJo, he suddenly wants in on this competition. He sneakily intercepts her as she arrives for the rose ceremony (no doubt orchestrated by producers), and she’s half excited, half “oh……. it’s you.”


Tiny Alex was NOT happy. He calls Chad Public Enemy #1.

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Chase, who I don’t even remember meeting last week, did an adorable thing and gave her a mini date with mittens and snow and extra wine.

So, he wins.

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Rose for you, Chase.

Then Chad did what I do at every cocktail party

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Sit in the corner with way too much food.

Since when do we actually see people eating on this show? Weird.

And poor little Alex is just really concerned that Chad is chewing with his mouth open.

bachelorrette recap via life of blyss blog

Oh, Alex.

Can we pause and bow our heads in honor of Jojo being the first Bachelor/ette in history to tell someone no (or “give me one second”) when someone tries to interrupt someone else’s 1 on 1 time? Why has this never happened ever before? It drives me batty.

Like last season, when Ben wanted extra time with the twins, and Olivia just kept being that wart he couldn’t get rid of. I assumed there was a rule preventing him from saying no.

Good for you JoJo, for having a spine. Give yourself some kudos.


She’s giving out these roses like she’s Oprah and there are cars for everybody.

Ali gets a rose.


I kid you not.

Beady eyes gets a rose.



C’mon, JoJo, the Jersey Shore barber and the floppy (ha) erectile dysfunction guy?! Superfan is funny! Even if he does always look like he is wearing foundation!

(But seriously, James, if you read this, I’d love to know what brand you use. Skin is flaw. less.)


Hipster goes home, too. He’s sad.

Here’s to hoping next week JoJo tells Chad to “get the FREAK OUT” just like Evan wants!

Chad’s plan? Workin’ out, makin’ protein shakes, and eatin’. And, you know, showing off his creepy veins.

What are your thoughts? Your favorites? Your predictions? No spoilers, y’all!


There’s a fantastic new workout on the block, and it’s called Pure Barre Platform.

platformFAQs via

Pure Barre Platform is a new fast-paced class designed to optimize cardiovascular results and increase total body strength. This heart-pumping class combines quick bursts of high intensity, yet low impact cardio work with periods of lower intensity muscle-sculpting movements. These 55 minutes of high energy, fun and intense interval training at the barre will help you burn calories, jumpstart your metabolism, and increase your overall endurance. It is the perfect cardio complement to your Pure Barre class to help you achieve even greater results, while still holding onto the traditional pieces and parts of a Pure Barre class that we all know and love.


Your Pure Barre studio may have released Platform a few months or weeks ago. Maybe you’ve tried it one or two times. Or maybe you’ve already completely fallen in love with the workout.

Truth be told, the first time I took Platform, I didn’t fall in love. I felt like I was trying to wrap my head around it the whole time, making it hard to just focus on my form and the exercise.

Think back to your first Pure Barre class. Were you confused? Did you feel like you weren’t doing it right?

That’s how I felt in my first Platform class, which is completely normal. I always tell clients to take Platform about 5 times before making a true judgment call.

5 times may seem excessive, but think of it this way: If you take a class 5 times, it’s likely you’ll see a myriad of exercises, experience some different teaching styles, and have the opportunity to take your form to the next level once you understand the class.

platformcorp3I’m completely in love with both teaching and taking Platform. Teaching the high-energy class is my very favorite, and having the opportunity to take the (waitlisted) class is a privilege at my studio.

Thanks to Platform, I feel stronger in regular Pure Barre class and during my runs, I’ve shaved over a minute off my 5K PR, and I’ve seen noteworthy changes in my body (hello, unintentional few pounds lost). Platform delivers serious results.

Here are some helpful Platform FAQs from my clients, assisted by some (LOL) GIFs:

♦ So I need to make BIG motions now?
Yes, your range of motion should be bigger than it is in regular Pure Barre. This will keep your heart rate up to maximize calorie burn.

This handy GIF shows a double-time press back, which you’ll notice is bigger and faster than our tempo press back in regular Pure Barre. That’ll get your heart rate going!

♦ But it’s hard to squeeze from the muscle when the motion is bigger.
That’s true. The more you take Platform, the easier this will become. You want to create bigger ranges of motion, but you should still be squeezing from the muscle your teacher has called out.

Your “squeeze in” and “press back”, as shown above, should be much bigger than the small ones you make in regular Pure Barre class, but you should still be squeezing from the same muscles.

♦ It looks like people are bouncing. Should I be doing that?
You should never feel like you are out of control. Bouncing, waving, or flopping are all things you should avoid. Focus on creating big, controlled ranges of motion. You should never feel like you are being “sloppy” with any motion in Platform.


♦ Is it okay if I move my platform a lot in class?
Yes! I move and adjust my platform a LOT during class. You’ll need to adjust it frequently, especially for seat work. For your safety, stick to sliding the platform rather than picking it up, and always let your teachers and staff handle your platform before and after class.


♦ Why does it look different when you do it?
Since everyone’s body and flexibility level is different, everyone will look different when they do Platform. Try to close your eyes and adjust your body to find your sweet spot. If you’re ever uncomfortable or in doubt you’re doing something correctly, never hesitate to ask your teacher.

I feel like I take too many breaks.
This is a hardcore, fast-paced class. You SHOULD feel very winded! I definitely had to take breaks in my first few classes, and that’s coming from someone who takes Pure Barre regularly and runs 5 miles at least 5 days a week. Work to your personal level, take all the breaks you need, and get water whenever you need it. Listen to your body.


♦ I can’t go any bigger!
Your teacher might be cueing you to make your ranges of motion bigger or to get your leg a little higher, but remember, she means for you to go as far as you can. Think of yourself as your biggest competition. Maybe try to go a little harder than you did last class, or perhaps fight a little harder to get your leg a little higher on the second side. Don’t worry about what anyone else in class is doing. As teachers, we always aim to help you work to your hardest point, and that could differ from day to day.

♦ Why do I need the platform?
The platform helps you dig deeper in every single stretch and exercise. Always think about pressing the foot on the platform down into it while you work. When you stretch, use the platform to dig deeper or reach farther.

♦ What should I eat before platform?
I prefer to work out first thing in the morning, but that can’t always happen. When I wake up and take platform, I grab a Quest bar or a KIND Bar and eat about half of it before class, half of it afterward. A banana and part of a bar is the perfect amount of food for me before taking. If it’s not first thing in the morning, I’d just recommend something light, as if you’re going on a run.

**the barres at our studio are a little bit high, so this might look different on you.

I am SORE. How many days a week should I take Platform? Should I still take Pure Barre?
You will be crazy sore the first few times you take Platform. Listen to your body, and within reason, work through the soreness. If you stick to it, that soreness will become strength. Experiment with taking Pure Barre and Platform interspersed throughout your week and find your happy mix of the two. The two classes are great low/no-impact complements to each other.

If you’re working your very hardest, you will feel exhausted after a Platform class.


I really hope you laughed at this GIFs as hard as I did as I was creating them.

What questions do you have about Platform? Have you tried it? What do you love about it? Have you seen any results yet?

Looking for other Pure Barre technique posts? Check out the below:


A Pure Barre Demo & The Fit Foodie Run is Back in Fairfax, VA

May 19, 2016

Remember last year when Brittany and I ran the Fit Foodie Run in Fairfax, VA? We’re at it again this weekend! Last year’s Fit Foodie Run was the most fun race weekend I’ve ever experienced. From the pre-race party the night before, to the events before and after the race, to the finisher’s village, I […]

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Turning Weaknesses Into Strengths: My 5K PR Race

May 10, 2016

On Saturday, I ran the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure here in Richmond, VA. As everyone knows, with my sister’s fight, breast cancer is a cause I will support to no end, so it seemed like fate that Alex’s mom used to work for Susan G. Komen and is one of the race […]

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Beauty in Bloom at Elements

April 13, 2016

Whose beauty routine needs an overhaul with this crazy, erratic weather? Did you raise your hand? Insert your girly one arm-raised emoji? Me too. And guess what? The ladies at Elements Beauty Shop have read your mind, because Elements is holding a Beauty in Bloom event this Tuesday, April 19 at 5:30 p.m. This event will include Erno Laszlo […]

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Things I’m Loving Thursday

March 17, 2016

I’m taking a page out of Julie‘s book by posting a “Things I’m Loving Thursday”. It’s been too long since I did a round up of my favorite discoveries/favorite things. And I really like alliteration. 1. Topping the list right off the bat? Rage yoga. WHAT? You heard me. It’s rage yoga. It’s for people […]

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Happy Bachelor Finale Monday!

March 14, 2016

To avoid suffering the wrath of all of you, I’ve learned I need to write at least one Bachelor-related post this season. I apologize I haven’t been more on top of things, but y’all. Life be cray. Lately, once I get the time to sit and write something up, I don’t have the inspiration, and I refuse to […]

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Raise the Barre: Tips for Veteran Barre Clients

January 26, 2016

You’re a barre regular. You know the drill so well, you could probably teach a class. Experts say you should keep your body guessing to sustain maximum peak performance, so now that you’re a barre aficionado, what can you do to push yourself a little harder? 1. Now that you’ve got your form down, focus […]

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Beauty & Skin Care Holiday Gift Guide

December 8, 2015

Who else placed about 7 different orders between Black Friday and Cyber Monday and is still Christmas shopping? Insert blonde emoji chick with her arm in the air. I am! I really shouldn’t be that stressed with Christmas gifts this year. My family is doing a no-presents Christmas and instead taking a trip to Mexico […]

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